“You’re Going to Lose Him”

He’s not home…

Later I found out he wasn’t home because he was with her

May 22, 2019

I hear it over and over again in my head…..

‘You're going to lose him.’

Why? Why do I keep hearing this?

I'm trying, I'm working on myself ...I've lost weight, my pants are loose. I'm talking to my boys with honesty. I'm exercising, watching what I eat, trying not to complain, washing laundry, working in the garden, putting my stuff away, complimenting him and thanking him for what he does and buying things for him and making oil blends for his pain and shampoo for his hair loss.

I‘m also doing what he asked taking turns with C’s travel baseball. Actually last weekend I'm the only one who took C because there were no games on Friday and Sunday’s games were cancelled. Not that I minded, I want to be there for our son.

I don't understand why he only seems to see what HE does and not any of what I do. I don't understand why he is so angry all the time. I'm afraid I'm losing him. I'm worried he may already be thinking of being with someone else...or he already has been. How many weekends have I been at my parents with the boys and he comes home alone for the dogs?

Wednesday 5/22/19