Updated: Sep 11, 2022
Through this process of healing I've studied, researched, prayed, read, sought counseling and talked through some difficult emotions. As I've studied, I have discovered new ideas for healing emotional wounds and have been surprised to realize I was already doing some. The more I learn I am beginning to believe that God gave us the ability to instinctually heal our emotional wounds just like our bodies heal physical wounds.
As with a broken bone, cells fill in the broken place and create even more bone than what was there before the fracture. That broken place becomes stronger than it was and remains strong until the weakened area around it is strengthened. (The area around the break atrophies from lack of use, while the broken area heals.)
If we are willing to examine the broken places, fill them in with what we need, trust our instincts, we will be stronger and better than before. We can’t ignore, numb, or run away from what’s broken. Once we face it, examine ourselves and feel whatever we need to feel, we will then instinctively know what we need.
I'd like you to remember who you were as a kid, the core of you from the beginning, when life was good and innocent and pure. No matter how far back you have to go, that person is who you are in your soul. That person is who you need to believe in and know is still there. That person is who you were created to be and can be if you choose.
Trauma, hate, cruelty, lies and manipulation change us into someone other than who we first were.
I believe a good soul is always a good soul, sometimes it just has to find it’s way back to believing there are other good souls out there too. We can’t give in to bitterness, grudges, or devaluation. There are souls who are still kind after being broken, there are beautiful empathetic, understanding people who care. We have to choose to be that type of soul so we can break the cycle of trauma that tries so hard to destroy the good in each of us.
It may be different for you. But trauma affects everyone at some point in life. Finding meaning, not hiding, knowing it’s not your fault (and even if it was, facing that and changing), choosing to believe that your life matters and that you will make a difference even if it's a tiny moment, those are the things that will bring you back to the core of yourself.
I also believe in seeking outside help, just like how a broken bone may need help from an expert to aid the healing process. If you go to a therapist, counselor, or psychologist or psychiatrist make sure they are the right fit for you. Personally, I had one ask me,
"If it was so bad why did you stay?"
I instantly felt judged and misunderstood. This same person did not know what C-PTSD, (complex post traumatic stress) is. I ended up educating someone who was supposed to be helping me navigate how to move past, my past. However, one person's lack of awareness does not mean there isn't someone else who is equipped to help. Keep seeking the right fit, don't give up just because of a few bad experiences (On a side note, I feel the same way about pastors and churches; find the right fit for you.)
I don’t want anyone to feel alone who has suffered the same. I don’t want anyone to feel the kind of debilitating devaluation and shame I have just because they chose to love someone who made them believe they weren’t good enough. YOU are good enough!