Updated: Mar 8
My sister, brother, father, mother, friend ....
It's time to share a few things with you. First I believe you are reading this for a reason. I will not pretend to know what that reason is. What I do know is there are no coincidences, everything in this beautiful life has purpose. It's up to each of us to discover what that is.
I used to believe my only purpose was to be a voice for victims of emotional abuse. But God's plans are bigger than mine. And who am I to argue with HIM?!
HE's been teaching me so much more than I could have ever imagined and I can't keep it to myself! I will not ignore where HE is leading me. I tried that in the past, it didn't work out so well.
Part of my purpose is to share with you ..... to share art, experiences, wisdom I've gained, knowledge from continuous study, words from God through the Holy Spirit, and the truth about my own struggles with raw, and sometimes unfiltered authenticity. I share my difficult moments, not for pity, but for the sole purpose of letting you know I understand your struggles and you aren't alone.
If you feel lost, if you feel trapped in past trauma (any type of trauma), if you are struggling with a toxic person, if you feel lonely or you want to help a loved one who is having a hard time I am here with you in spirit, in words, and in faith. You are not alone!
It's impossible for me to share how I've survived my own trauma without including my relationship with God.
I can without a doubt tell you that without HIS Spirit in me I would not be alive today. I'm not a pushy Christian and God knows this about me. HE knows all my flaws and yet for some reason despite, or maybe even because of them HE has called me to lay open my brokenness and share how HE is healing me slowly. I believe HE intends the same for you.
To have a more profound relationship with God, it is valuable to hold HIS book in your hands.
There is something different that happens when you are able to read the chapters instead of a verse here and there. Think of it like this, you wouldn't take just one sentence from a book you are reading and base the entire story off of that one sentence would you? It's the same with the Bible, if we don't take the time to read the stories we might misinterpret the meaning.
We must not depend solely on the insight of someone else.
Instead, we should look up words we don't know, and ask the Holy Spirit questions. God says to meditate on his word; that means we are to contemplate, and think through what we are reading. The more you read, HIS words will become clearer, you will gain wisdom, understanding and knowledge. The more time you spend reading, you will feel HIM imerge as the one who loves you exactly as you are.
As you study it is enevitable that you will find things you don't like. I most certainly have. Ask yourself why you don't like what you've read. Dig into what is bothering you about that particular sentence or story. Maybe, you aren't putting it into context, maybe it doesn't mean what you originally thought, maybe it was translated incorrectly, or perhaps it's something you need to acknowledge in your own heart. Let HIS Spirit guide you to the truth. Trust me, HE will.
As you read, set aside religion, and preconceived notions, read like you have never read it before and imagine the Bible as a book with stories you've never heard. This will help you grow a relationship with our creator, and relate to some of the stories.
Read the stories, poetry and songs with a fresh set of eyes. Pray before you read,
"Holy Spirit, through you, let my eyes see, let my ears hear, and let my heart discern the words within that you want me to learn."
Be mindful that people find what they are looking for. When someone seeks to disprove something they can find the evidence. When someone is seeking to deceive they will use bits and pieces of the truth, but will leave out the contextual information that gives clarity through the whole truth.
There is a spiritual battle coming, far beyond what anyone knows or can comprehend.
Some of us have spent a great deal of time in the wilderness becoming strong and more aware. Some of us have been growing strong through suffering, while learning to trust, believe, listen to and therefore get to know HIM. Some of us have been in training so to speak, so that we can teach others how to do the same in their wilderness season that is to come.
We must learn how to recognize what the enemy has hidden within slippery talk and a façade of truth.
He knows the Scriptures better than any of us. We must bond and connect with the Holy Spirit so we will not be deceived, distracted, or tamed. God needs HIS children to be spiritual warriors who know how to hear HIM instead of what's waiting in the darkness.
Before my wilderness season I really had not spent much time reading the Bible, and I certainly did not relate, research or feel the words like I have in these recent years. I've learned that the Bible is full of warnings about "ungodly," "wicked," "foolish," or toxic (as we call them today), people.
HE has a plan for everything and when we are enlightened (though I don't really like that word because it sounds new-age-y), we must obey HIM. Everything HE does is for our good. But it is a process. Not everyone can be trusted with the things contemplated while searching to understand. I've learned there are some things I must keep to myself while I'm developing so I won't cause someone to stumble off their own path. That is why some things are hidden until we are spiritually mature enough to be trusted.
I know I'm not always right and the more I seek to understand the more I realize there is so much that I don't know.
There is so much knowledge far beyond me. But God has definitely put a hunger in me to learn whatever I can. Not only about HIM but about this amazing world HE created. I strive to be informed, educated, wise, honest, and led by the Holy Spirit so I can faithfully answer tough questions about Christianity. I am not one to pretend like I know something when I don't, I'd rather just admit that I'm not sure.
I do not want to be the cause of anyone turning away from God when HIS intention is for you to seek, find, be saved by, be loved by, and also learn how to love HIM.
We all must face the reality that some people will not change, no matter how hard we pray for them. Change is a choice.
There will be others who will pretend to be changed, those are people who seek to deceive for selfish reasons. It is not our job to judge, it is however our responsibility to discern.
A hard lesson I had to learn is only God knows the hidden thoughts, feelings and actions of a person.
Only God knows who will choose the way of love and peacefulness. Only God knows who will hide their intentions in a veil of darkness. HE is the only one who can see into the hearts of humanity. It is not up to us to determine who will be saved and who will not. It's our responsibility to choose love as an intentional action while also asking God to protect us from the tricks of the enemy.
God's children are not to be ignorant OR naïve to the wickedness in this world.
HE protects us when we follow HIS instructions. HE does not want HIS children to be taken advantage of, abused, used… HE wants us to be aware, HE wants us to have a relationship with HIM, and to know HIS words so we can discern wickedness. HE wants us to see the truth hidden beneath deception so we not only protect ourselves, but also prevent others from being deceived.
.... let HIS word be written on your heart, let it become part of you.
There are, even among the church, "...ungodly people who pervert the grace of God into a license for immortality..." (book of Jude)
When we have the Holy Spirit working in us we want to do good and we feel bad (convicted) when we have done something wrong. Grace gives us the ability to not condemn ourself for making a human mistake. Grace through Christ enables us to feel convinced in our spirit so we can ask for forgiveness, and have a desire to change so we don't repeat the mistake. We are able to do this because we know God's forgiveness is through the gift of HIS love.
In the verse above from Jude we have an example of people who claim to be believers, yet they don't have the Spirit of Grace in them. Instead of valuing grace for what it is, ungodly people sin with intention.
An ungodly person might say,
"God's word says I'm forgiven because I'm saved."
"You'd forgive if you were a good Christian."
"A good Christian would forgive and let it go."
Those are just a few examples from my own life.
Those types of words when used to veil wickedness, or justify someone's intentional disregard of right vs wrong, are a poor use of Christian doctrine. And they are NOT what Christianity really means.
Yes, you must forgive, but that does not mean the person who you've forgiven has a right to enter your "kingdom." Forgiveness, is a willingness to step back, and understand the reasons behind why someone acts the way that they do. Then, in your understanding you can work to let go of the hurt that they caused you and thus forgive them.
But willingly excepting someone's intentional choices of causing harm, doing wrong, hurting others, doing things for selfish wants and reasons, is NOT forgiveness, it is enablement.
When someone justifies their actions by stating "God will forgive me after..." they are choosing with intention to do wrong, and justifying themselves by using the excuse that God forgives those who are born again.
Perhaps, that person is a deceitful soul who never received the Holy Spirit.
Causing intentional harm to others for selfish wants, is NOT a "fruit" (product of / result of), the Holy Spirit.
People without the Holy Spirit can't comprehend things of the Spirit because they don't have a personal, internal experiential relationship. Experiences build our perceptions and beliefs. Our perceptions and beliefs become evident in what we do and how we act toward others.
In order for you to let someone back into your life, who has been intentionally harmful to you, that person must ask for forgiveness and truly feel bad for what they've done.
If they do or say something that they know hurt you, do they keep doing it even after expressing remorse? Or, do they change because they don't want to hurt you again?
If they say they are sorry but don't take action to change the behavior that they know hurt you, they care about their wants and desires more than they care about you.
How do they express true remorse? By not repeating the intention. They humble themselves and recognize when they are wrong. They admit their wrong without it being pointed out.
This doesn't mean they won't ever hurt you again. Every single one of us is capable of hurting someone unintentionally. It means they are truly working to change within themself, and their actions prove such!
When a person has empathy, kindness, gentleness, authenticity and vulnerability you will feel the difference, your spirit will know.
What if you casting them out (no longer accepting their selfishness), is the only way they will change and grow into the person they were meant to be? It's not a cruelty when you do it out of love and you mourn the loss of their presence in your life. It is wrong when it's out of revenge, bitterness or hate.
You must pray that God will intervene and draw that person to HIM. Only God knows if and when that might happen.
Unless a person repents for an intentional harm, they will continue to harm you or others because they have no consequences for their actions. That is not what God wants for his children. That is not love.
Love does correct wrongs.
There are consequences for actions, that is how we learn what is acceptable and what isn't.
If a person is never corrected, they will always choose self.
What they want will be the driving force of their life and no one's feelings, needs, safety, morality etc. will ever matter more to them than getting what they want!
Seek the knowledge God intends for you.
God's intentions always come with confirmation from HIM. You can't go looking for it, when it's a true confirmation it will find you! Ask the Holy Spirit to point out when something is wrong.
When the Holy Spirit is in you, you will want to do good and you will feel convicted when you do wrong. The fruits of the Spirit make it evident if someone is a child of God or not.
The fruits of the Spirit are love, kindness, forebearance, self-control, gentleness, faithfulness, joy, goodness, patience when wronged, correcting with gentleness, .... someone who has God's Holy Spirit living in them will have those fruits, and not just when it's convenient. They may not have all of them all the time, none of us do, however a Christian will work for them and will have them often.
Someone who is pretending to be a believer for deceptive reasons will not have those qualities very often, if at all. That is how you will know if someone is a deceiver or not, by their "fruit"!
Later, in a different post, I will give examples of fruits of the deceiver. In the mean time here is something God revealed to me .... it's what happens when we ignore, accept or even share sin in others.
When sin is 'celebrated'
~no reason to repent
~infects others into acceptance
~developes into generational curses / toxic cycles
~causes the church to be accused of hypocrisy
-no reason to believe
when believers don't
change for the better
~spirit of evil has an open door to come in
~pride / arrogance is the basis of tolerance
What I have written to you has been led by the Holy Spirit within me, and by what HE has taught me through HIS divine word. If you would like to learn more on your own, here are some Bible References that correlate with what I've written to you ...
1 Corinthians 2:14
1 Corinthians 3:2
1 Corinthians 5:12-13
2 Timothy 2:24-26
1 John 1:5-8
1 John 2:4,6
Actually, I highly recommend you read all of 1st John. It's a great starting point for truth if you are like I was, wanting to know God, but not knowing where to start. Romans is also wonderful for clarity.
Remember, it is ok to have questions.
God welcomes your questions because they give HIM opportunity to spiritually connect with you and impart clarity in you.
I'll give you one quick example so you can understand that HE doesn't communicate with us like a human. I had been reading the book of Jude and a few days ago and I made a note in one of my journals,
"Why would the devil fight to have the body of Moses?"
Then, last night the first que in my YouTube feed was Titled
"Why the Devil Fought for Moses' Body."
Some people might say that's a coincidence, or they might assume it's from some algorithm due to what I was reading. I can tell you, it's neither.
First, I have experienced way too many "coincidences" almost daily to believe they aren't God's intention. Second, I don't read an electronic Bible, I was reading a small NIV Bible and made that note durning down time at work. HE speaks to us in supernatural ways, it may take a little while for you to learn HIS way of speaking to you, keep searching, keep believing....because trust me, HE BELIEVES in YOU!
You are loved. You are not alone!
Your sister in HIM,